Should we leave it all to chance, or should we take action?
To be honest, this latest tragedy in Boston has really struck me down. Maybe I am feeling extra vulnerable right now as PB is gone again for work again and we are in a time of transition with the move coming up. I would not describe myself as overly sensitive…but then again I would. I do not normally cry at the drop of a hat…but sometimes I do. When I let myself react, I am hyper-sensitive and hyper-aware. But, I do not always let myself react, as sometimes I like to keep my shield up…to guard my real emotions from others.
I do not mean for this post to be a psychological evaluation of my being, I guess I am just making it aware that I am disturbed by the state of things. I allow myself to live in a bubble. To surround myself with simplicity and beauty and nature’s gifts. I do not often see others as we are living very rurally, so I take solace in my work, my writing and my books. But lately…I feel as if my bubble has burst….or been invaded…yes invaded. I no longer feel safe. I no longer feel like there is an ease to my days. I feel on edge. I feel tense. And, I feel angry. I do not understand hate or vengefulness. I guess that is not entirely true…I understand it, but I do not participate in it.
When I was talking to my mother today she helped me to put the Boston tragedy into perspective. She told me that while it is entirely sad and wrong and terrible…it also happens all the time…all around us, in this global environment. Am I wrong to live in a bubble? Am I leaving my life up to chance? Am I taking the right action? What action should that be? What can I do to help? …I do not know… I feel sometimes like my life is a bit selfish. I just go about my daily doings…humming and drumming…and not always thinking about this global environment…about all this global suffering.
I choose to live my life. I choose a simple life in the country. Can I help from here? Yes, I know I can. I will take action. But, I also recognize how much chance really does weigh in. I am SO sorry for anyone that has lost someone…especially to an unexpected tragedy. I do not know if there is anything more heart-wrenching than an unexpected loss. I pray for all of us. I pray by sending you my positive energy and my love and light. I apologize if this post has offended any of you…I just felt like it needed to be said.